From innocentlb.com
Review: Emmanuelle (2024) - Innocent Loverboy
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"Emmanuelle" (2024) as reviewed by Innocent Loverboy (ILB), a big fan of the Emmanuelle series. He wasn't overly keen.
on Dec 8
From innocentlb.com
I may have licked her tit, or whatever - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB rhapsodises, and as it turns out not for the first time, about boobs, breasts, bosoms and the humble nipple suck.
on Dec 2
From innocentlb.com
Stranger Things - Innocent Loverboy
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A personal post about disability, Manchester, and the kindness of strangers. Buckle up, this isn't an easy one to read.
on Nov 25
From innocentlb.com
The Seven O'Clock Itch - Innocent Loverboy
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Something about horn in the late night (and/or early morning). Does this make ILB sound frustrated? Probably. He may well be.
on Nov 16
From innocentlb.com
Bolt from the Blue - Innocent Loverboy
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A quick thingy about masturbation to soft porn, as is ILB's wont. He hasn't described his orgasm here... but it was fairly spectacular.
on Nov 7
From innocentlb.com
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Hello, this is ILB typing a meta description. He feels the need to make this clear, because he is feeling invisible.
on Oct 29
From innocentlb.com
SaLT and Pep - Innocent Loverboy
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Do you want some SaLT on your chips? Maybe not, but at one point I did want one on my face. Sorry, did I say that out loud?
on Oct 20
From innocentlb.com
Soft Porn Sunday: Roxanne Blaze & Michael Todd Davis - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB hadn't heard of "Beach Babes from Beyond" before and neither had you. Don't lie, we all know you hadn't.
on Sep 29
From innocentlb.com
Fiction: Jungle Tales - Innocent Loverboy
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A bit of jungle-adjacent erotic sci-fi for your Saturday afternoon. No, I don't know where I'm going with this, but still...
on Sep 28
From innocentlb.com
Soft Porn Sunday: Laura Gemser & Paul Thomas - Innocent Loverboy
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I know we're all watching this for naked Laura Gemser, but what about Paul Thomas? What do you mean, "who is he"? Well...
on Sep 15
From innocentlb.com
Bar Bathroom - Innocent Loverboy
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What happens in a bar bathroom? Is it sexy, daring, forbidden, or just ILB feverishly wanking because he can? (Spoiler: it's the last one.)
on Sep 9
From innocentlb.com
...and you'll be oh so happy - Innocent Loverboy
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Leaf had every right to be happy and continues to do so. ILB, on the other hand, doesn't get to be happy, but that's no surprise.
on Aug 30
From innocentlb.com
London Isn't Calling - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB had the opportunity to travel around London, but he never quite realised this until just now. Thanks for that, Real Life.
on Aug 25
From innocentlb.com
Thirteen of ILB's best blog posts (a flailing compilation thereof) - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB responds to Girl on the Net's idea about doing a list of best blog posts by wholesale stealing it and doing his own list.
on Aug 9
From innocentlb.com
Teenage Dirtbag - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB wasn't the only one suffering from unrequited crushes at secondary school. But then he wouldn't be. He's just a teenage dirtbag, baby,
on Aug 3
From innocentlb.com
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Something for both #NationalOrgasmDay & #DisabilityPrideMonth. That a dichotomy? ILB doesn't know, but he's got a disability and he orgasms.
on Aug 2
From innocentlb.com
Sofa, so good - Innocent Loverboy
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Starts with talking about J.D. Vance and ends up being a blog post about having sex with a sofa. So, the same topic throughout, basically.
on Jul 25
From innocentlb.com
Heart and Soul - Innocent Loverboy
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It was only on my second night in the holding bay that I realised the chair I’d been sitting on could recline. One week earlier, when I’d been put in a chair, I’d assumed I’d be able to sleep in it. Sleep wasn’t something I did. The second time, I accidentally nudged a switch with […]
on Jul 16
From innocentlb.com
Soft Porn Sunday: Monique DeMoan & Eddie Jay - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB dives into Love Exchange. Don't worry, it's not a real one, just a Surrender title from 2001. No, I hadn't heard of it either.
on Jun 25
From innocentlb.com
It's fun to share, it's fun to share - Innocent Loverboy
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It's not really indecent to have orgasms on a squashy armchair. But doing so with the whole city watching? Why not? It's fun to share!
on Jun 23
From innocentlb.com
Dream List #1 - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB doesn't know why he hasn't done this before. But here's a sex dream list and, if it offends you, GOTN started it!
on May 28
From innocentlb.com
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Slap, slap, slap. Nothing to do with BDSM, but still a sexy sound. Perhaps more so on quiet train stations, who knows? Also Ice Climber.
on May 25
From innocentlb.com
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ILB hasn't been talking much recently, but he can talk about eviction. So here's him... doing that, I suppose.
on Apr 12
From innocentlb.com
Orgasms, on - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB has been having orgasms, but he hasn't been using them to their full potential. Is this possible? He's not sure, but he thinks so. Anyway.
on Apr 6
From innocentlb.com
Burning Bridges - Innocent Loverboy
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Something about the incident I highlighted earlier on today. I'm not usually one to start burning bridges, but some I have to sever ties with.
on Apr 4
From innocentlb.com
Ask ILB: Why don't you have a Patreon? - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB has been enjoying Patreon... he just doesn't have one. I know, that's really not a surprise, is it? Let's write about it, chaps.
on Mar 29
From innocentlb.com
No, YOU listen. - Innocent Loverboy
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This was not something I did, but something YOU did. I'm admitting it to myself because I can't tell you. But you did it, and I remember it.
on Mar 18
From innocentlb.com
Soft Porn Sunday: Susan Hale & Timothy Stempien - Innocent Loverboy
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Two characters from Platinum Blonde (2001) having sex in a broom cupboard. Not the CBBC one. Thrill to their exploits.
on Mar 3
From innocentlb.com
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ILB's childhood friend would talk about "girls". Not to them... just about them. Did ILB do the same? Not according to Kaf.
on Mar 1
From innocentlb.com
The Great and Glorious Jizz Rush of February 2024 - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB may very well be infertile, but that means getting a semen sample to the hospital within 50 minutes. It's time for the JIZZ RUSH!
on Feb 12
From innocentlb.com
Soft Porn Sunday: Kendra Tucker & Timothy Di Pri - Innocent Loverboy
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Ostensibly an episode about tennis, even though there isn't a lot of tennis in it. They still make all the noises, though.
on Feb 4
From innocentlb.com
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Wake up! ILB did, and he got to have sex because of it. If it worked for him, I'm sure it'd work for you, right...?
on Jan 23
From innocentlb.com
Multitasking - Innocent Loverboy
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What do you do to accompany a relatively charmless job like, say, packing a suitcase? ILB has the answer! It involves porn!
on Jan 20
From innocentlb.com
2023 #orgasmcount [aka: “M04R (0D3S¡”] - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB counted every orgasm he had in 2023 and now he gets to talk about them. Yes, I'm aware he does this every year, shut up.
on Jan 1
From innocentlb.com
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This blog post has got "it". I suppose it must do, because ILB seems completely incapable of doing so, so this balances out.
on Dec 29
From innocentlb.com
Christmas is massiv - Innocent Loverboy
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Do you go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve? ILB does. He almost didn't start going, though, and it's all soft porn's fault...
on Dec 27
From innocentlb.com
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Innocent Loverboy's about page - that is to say, a page all about ILB. This meta description is pretty redundant, really.
on Dec 24
From innocentlb.com
Spirit of the Wood!!!!!!! - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB saw a fairy so pretty he wrote about her using seven exclamation marks. Did she really exist? Oh no she didn't! Oh yes she did!
on Dec 8, 2023
From innocentlb.com
These are a few of my favourite things... - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB knows what he likes and he's always ready to list his favourite things. He's less sure about what his brain really likes, though.
on Nov 30, 2023
From innocentlb.com
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ILB has a new mattress! What happens to him when he lies down? Find out in this thrilling tale about basically nothing!
on Nov 24, 2023
From innocentlb.com
We're just innocent men - Innocent Loverboy
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Something for International Men's Day without mentioning the fact that it's IMD. I keep forgetting about IMD, which is probably the reason.
on Nov 19, 2023
From innocentlb.com
The Amorous Milk - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB is on his way to meet his lover, at which point she asks him to buy milk. This meta description is pretty redundant, really.
on Nov 10, 2023
From innocentlb.com
Moustache Man - Innocent Loverboy
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ILB has grown a moustache for Movember. No, it genuinely doesn't work, but at least his parents noticed it. Nobody else has so far...
on Nov 2, 2023
From innocentlb.com
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What's going to happen to our hero? Is he going to have sex? How much pizza will he eat? Will he ever catch THE MOTH? Stay tuned to find out!
on Oct 26, 2023
From innocentlb.com
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ILB has lost his coffee cup! Can his colleague find it and bring it back to him? Fortunately for her, it has an unmistakable brand on it...
on Oct 13, 2023