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From loweringthebar.net

Assorted Stupidity #165

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In this edition: stuff.

on Nov 9

From loweringthebar.net

WE DID IT!

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I give you the future Secretary and Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services and Falconry.

on Nov 8

From loweringthebar.net

House Advertised as “Not Haunted”

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You can’t prove it is! (Or that it isn’t.)

on Nov 1

From loweringthebar.net

RFK Jr. Gets Nowhere With Residency Appeal

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Also an update on the battle for his falconry records.

on Oct 25

From loweringthebar.net

Is It Legal to Import Sheep Testicles So You Can Breed Giant Alternative Livestock to Kill?

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Even if it were, would you travel to get them if it meant flying on Turkish Airlines?

on Oct 18

From loweringthebar.net

The Prisoner Formerly Known as Nicholas Rossi Finally Admits He Lied About His Identity

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Now says he was afraid Rhode Island legislators wanted to kill him.

on Oct 17

From loweringthebar.net

Hawaii Makes the Shaka Its Official State Gesture

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Though the gesture and its meaning remain a little ambiguous.

on Oct 17

From loweringthebar.net

What Is the Proper Format for a Citation to Buzz Lightyear?

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I really have no idea, but this seems perfectly acceptable to me: I suppose you might also be wondering, "In what situation might I feel compelled to cite an animated action figure as an autho…

on Oct 17

From loweringthebar.net

Woman Freed After Lab Confirms “Suspicious Residue” Was SpaghettiO Sauce

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An officer concluded the substance on a spoon was crystal meth. It wasn’t.

on Oct 17

From loweringthebar.net

Cease-and-Desist Letter Fails to Prevent Competing “World Naked Bike Ride”

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It was only trying to prevent use of the name.

on Oct 5

From loweringthebar.net

Larry Craig Can’t Catch a Break

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First the guy in the stall next to him turns out to be an undercover cop, then they won't let him withdraw his guilty plea, then he has to retire from the Senate, now they're all "yo…

on Oct 3

From loweringthebar.net

Alleged Tax Dodger Says It’s a “Legitimate Snail-Farming Operation”

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Is this the first snail-farming tax-exemption case ever? Nope.

on Oct 1

From loweringthebar.net

British Government Considers Mandating Plastic Pint Glasses

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Trying to control stabbings by banning knives that have a point on the end was bad enough.  But this is really going too far. The BBC reported recently that the British Home Office is seeking …

on Sep 30

From loweringthebar.net

Bank of America Sued for 1,784 Sextillion Dollars

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Specifically, “1,784 billion trillion dollars,” but you can write it either way.

on Sep 25

From loweringthebar.net

RFK Jr. Falconry Followup

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The battle continues.

on Sep 24

From loweringthebar.net

Drivers Won’t Yield to Pedestrian in Chicken Suit

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They usually won’t yield to any pedestrian, research shows.

on Sep 19

From loweringthebar.net

Assorted Stupidity #164

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In this edition: Tom Girardi loses; what sure looks like medical malpractice; what might be magical malpractice; and a very dangerous chess player.

on Sep 14

From loweringthebar.net

Open Mike Likely to Close Out Legislator’s Career

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Listen, if you’re anywhere near a microphone, you might as well just assume it’s on.

on Sep 9

From loweringthebar.net

RFK Jr.’s Falconry Records Still Secret—For Now

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Is it too early to call this a coverup? Well, yes, but stay tuned.

on Sep 7

From loweringthebar.net

Bubble-Blower Charged With “Littering Prohibited Fluids”

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This aggression will not stand, man.

on Sep 6

From loweringthebar.net

Court Orders Martin Shkreli to Hand Over His Wu-Tang Clan Album (Again)

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He should have to give up that smirk, too, but I suppose there are First Amendment issues there.

on Aug 30

From loweringthebar.net

RFK Jr. Expected to End Campaign After Questions Raised About Falconry License

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He probably won’t admit this was the reason, but we know the truth.

on Aug 23

From loweringthebar.net

Juror Swears Oath on Cup of River Water

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He just really likes that river.

on Aug 6

From loweringthebar.net

Assorted Stupidity #163

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In this edition: are tacos “sandwiches”? Yes and no. Also, other things.

on Jul 27

From loweringthebar.net

Three-Page Limit Exceeded by 70

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Some serious editing was required but not performed.

on Jul 12

From loweringthebar.net

Assorted Stupidity #162

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In this edition: Pringles-can lawyer’s suspension ends; Louisiana still not fooling anyone; constable uninjured by cheese-wielder.

on Jun 26

From loweringthebar.net

Suspended-License Case: More Complicated, Not Less Dumb

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It maybe wasn’t technically suspended at the time … if it existed.

on Jun 24

From loweringthebar.net

Reasonable Consumer Would Know “Crunchberries” Are Not Real, Judge Rules

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One of the most popular posts ever on this site, and one of the dumbest cases ever filed by people who weren’t incarcerated.

on Jun 5

From loweringthebar.net

Guy With Suspended License Takes Court Call on Zoom While Driving

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Another case where somebody creates the best evidence against him.

on May 31

From loweringthebar.net

Priest Who Bit Woman During Mass Says She Had It Coming

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Okay, I might be paraphrasing there.

on May 24

From loweringthebar.net

“LOL, no,” Explained

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This response was great in two words. The four-page version is equally great for different reasons.

on May 23

From loweringthebar.net

How They Filibuster in Taiwan

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If the legislation is bad enough, you might consider eating it.

on May 18

From loweringthebar.net

Noodler Guilty of Murdering Alleged Bigfoot-Summoner

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Did he take the stand in his own defense? That’s usually a terrible idea, so yes.

on May 15

From loweringthebar.net

This AI Garbage Bot Claimed It Was Thinking of Me the Other Day

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So I got this email purporting to be from Gale Kal, VP of Regional AI Sales for a company called KwikTrust: Hi Kevin, As I woke up to the morning news about Georgetown Law receiving a record-breaki…

on May 10

From loweringthebar.net

Assorted Stupidity #161

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In this edition: disputes involving Road House and the Muppets; some U.S. campaign news; legislative updates; and why threatening to kill jurors is a poor strategy.

on May 8

From loweringthebar.net

“LOL, no.”

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A terrific response to a bogus takedown letter.

on Apr 27

From loweringthebar.net

Alleged de Armas Fans Get Nothing in Misleading-Trailer Lawsuit

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They also dodged an order requiring them to pay Universal’s legal fees, unfortunately.

on Apr 22

From loweringthebar.net

O.J. Simpson Embarks on Long, Slow Bronco Ride Into Eternity

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Although that’s probably not where it will end up.

on Apr 12

From loweringthebar.net

Are Chemtrails Spreading Across the Country? No, But Goofy Chemtrail Legislation Is

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It’s almost like these legislators don’t really understand science.

on Apr 9

From loweringthebar.net

Homeowners Foreclose on Bank

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It's sad, even if sometimes necessary, when the sheriff's deputy and moving trucks show up to seize assets because of an unpaid debt. Actually, though, I guess it's not that sad when…

on Apr 1