From nailsthatglow.com
0 1
Today was hard. Unsure why I feel so unable to meet the challenge of work these days. I get so sleepy as the day goes. My focus falls apart and I get hungry for junk food. Even going outside and getting a flash of sun do...
on Sun, 4AM
From nailsthatglow.com
0 1
I stayed home today. Woke up crying and had no idea what to do with myself. Dislike this because I need money and things are getting complicated in my private life. Just want to make sure I am not caught in a void.
on Sat, 4AM
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I feel so less than others most days. I feel a small cringe inside when people misgender me. There is a pain within me when people ask me why I feel the need to change my body. There is an alienation I feel when people c...
on Fri, 8AM
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I have a partner. Things have not been easy with her. Mainly an issue with both of us going through a great deal of trauma in past relationships. Me with my controlling and manipulative relationships with people that wou...
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am not a fan of disorganized chaos. Yelling people, loud random sounds and the like bug the fuck out of me. It has gotten worse since the pandemic started. Between dealing with people using fishnet facemasks and the po...
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
People are cute. It is not complicated. If you are overly concerned with parts something is wrong with you. We are an advanced society and preference should never limit you.
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
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Today is hard. I am having trouble focusing on anything. I want to drink or get high so bad. Was going to call someone but my fingers are not wanting to touch the phone. Could not manage any adulting. Tried to work out a...
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
If you follow my blog and know anything about my history, you might have an idea. If you just base it on how I look, you will be way off. My musical taste and what I like to watch is not a decent measure because of how t...
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I want to get high again. Literally all I can think about today.
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
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I was looking at pictures of my body before taking HRT. It was an interesting trip.
on Jun 26
From nailsthatglow.com
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Tonight, my partner is leaving for two weeks. We spent today together. Both of us had appointments. Napping was part of it as well. Did I mention we also went to the rose garden?
on Jun 25
From nailsthatglow.com
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I am a work in progress. Sort of what being trans is all about. Finding your expression and waiting for things to fit right takes time. Being on HRT has been an interesting journey. Today my boobs had a pain within them ...
on Jun 25
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Today I was reminded just how fragile my sobriety is at times. I have not relapsed or anything, but I am sometimes pushed to confront my desires. It was really hard to quit tobacco compared to what quitting most other th...
on Jun 24
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Two weeks. Two Weeks. The words spoken by the artificial head in the original TOTAL RECALL film before it starts to glitch and then hovers off Arnold’s face. This Friday will start a two-week period where I will be alone...
on Jun 24
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
The only thing I miss about being a kid is how batshit stupid entertainment was. Then there was the truly genius stuff that mainstream people either did not like or thought was too hard to produce long term. Like go back...
on Jun 23
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I could not manage at work today. I literally fell asleep and even cried a few times. When I came home, I went to sleep. When I woke up, I could not think or function.
on Jun 23
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I have been trying to raise money and some kindhearted soul added a bit to my one funding page I did not think would get anything else. Now I will be adding it to the bottom of this page.
on Jun 11
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am without motivation. There are so many things I wish to do. Unable to get any of them done. Just want to sit and do nothing. Sitting still looking off into space.
on Jun 7
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Someone recently asked me why I write this blog. Asked if I was exhibitionist. Well, do not kink shame and sort of.
on Jun 5
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
There are days I fell I am missing frames. Just imagine a film at thirty frames a second. Now imagine that, randomly, five or more frames are missing from each second. The picture you would see would feel wrong. My hands...
on Jun 4
From nailsthatglow.com
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I got home and all I could do was wait for a delivery. Still waiting. Funny thing is I tried doing other things and became instantly disinterested. I even tried to play a video game but part of it does not work on my XBO...
on Jun 2
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am sad. There are millions of reasons for it. The only thing that made me smile was seeing someone get found guilty for a whole bunch of crimes he absolutely is guilty of. There is that at the very least.
on May 31
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Why are we so focused on disposable things in our lives? Cars, home interiors, clothing, music, tv shows and film. Everything is apparently made to be forgotten and pushed away for the next new thing. Then the paradox wh...
on May 30
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
The time spent getting my face done feels shorter at times. Today was a nice day for hair removal. I chat with the tech and it helps distract me from the sharpness of pain even with the topical I use. With the music play...
on May 29
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I know most of you are doing something other than sitting at home and chilling. It is all I have spoons for. I woke up an hour after I normally do and have done a good number of things. I finished my first Gundam model i...
on May 28
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Most people are having a long weekend. I worked today and will be working Sunday. Monday I am normally off and may go in if needed. My work field is not the kind where the office can just not show up for a few days.
on May 26
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
After FFS, feminizing facial surgery, will I still be pretty? Will it just be a different kind of pretty or what? My face will be changed. Nothing like doing a facial sculpt in a video game. I will be more experiencing w...
on May 25
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am slowly moving every post over to the new site. It is going to take some time to do this. Longer than I would like. There is no export option that I can use either because I did not start with a dedicated blogging se...
on May 24
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
How many of you think getting facial feminization surgery is something where you pick and choose your face elements?
on May 23
From nailsthatglow.com
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Today the traffic was terrible. I am taken from Portland to Vancouver to get my facial hair worked on. Without traffic it should only take about twenty minutes. The time we go, it takes closer to an hour. If drives me a ...
on May 22
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
All movies are weird. Nothing in a movie or TV show is even close to what the world is. Aside from how we all perceive reality in our own ways and the way things make sense to each of us is unique. Nobody, no matter how ...
on May 21
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
When I was younger, I took a girl’s purse from the classroom. I went into the bathroom and went through it. I threw it away. After thinking about it, the make-up I took from it felt weird. I fished it out and took the fe...
on May 19
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
You ever noticed how sometimes the things you like to do are not interesting? I suppose this is often a sign of depression and other issues most often. Other times it is just being sleepy or preoccupied with other things...
on May 18
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I started building my Gundam today. This is nice. I need to get a few more markers to decorate it. Need brown and possibly a metallic blue. I just done with the arms and messed around with the accenting of them and they ...
on May 17
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I read the Sandman comics a long time ago. The search for Destruction was possibly the best story I had read in a comic at the time. Poor Delight and the fuck all of Destruction. The Endless were more relatable as a fami...
on May 16
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I never grew strong sideburns. I grew them times I figured I wanted to look more masculine. Today I ended the option forever. My hair removal session was focused on the sideburns and over three hundred hairs are now burn...
on May 15
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Today I am trying to understand my limits when it comes to emotions. I am also trying to understand how I can function in the world while making less than I actually need to live decently. I spent so much of my life work...
on May 14
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am dealing with feeling drained and empty. My feeling is physical. A sense of being hollow and unable to fully start up like a broken engine. Today at work I spaced out a few times. Missed my lunch and felt overwhelmed...
on May 12
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I had to stay home again today. Worried about chest x-ray results and have not been able to sleep. Today I slept and fussed around the house doing nesting things. I received a nice gift and right now I am noticing the ti...
on May 11
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Why are we letting a small number of people and organizations consume all of the wealth while people are having a hard time making rent for apartments and homes that are just enough space?
on May 10
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I just got a sticker order testing a service that had a silly awesome promo. After looking at them I am more than thrilled. This is also a day I spent time with a great friend of mine. I am now trying to think.
on May 9
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
I am writing on a mechanical keyboard the past few days. Orders I made months ago are arriving and I am feeling like shit because I am noticing how my lack of being able to work is having an impact on my life. Today I go...
on May 8
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Today I went to the doctor to get introduced to my new general doc. We talked about what concerns me and she had obviously read over my history. I was feeling spent at the appointment. The bus trip took an hour. It was m...
on May 7
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Today I spoke to a client about being trans. We connected on impostor syndrome and what it is to be valid publicly. It was a rough conversation to be sure.
on May 5
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
How often are you just living and you feel like you might be in shark infested water? Funny how sharks are not prone to attacking humans in the way pop culture says. Unless you look like a seal. Then you are fucked. I h...
on May 4
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
In my life I have been in many situations where me watching others and others watching me was just common. These days I cannot even think about sex in a way that feels real. There is a desire that happens but touching so...
on May 2
From nailsthatglow.com
0 0
Today my session focused mostly on my chin. Since my sessions are only an hour I can expect small areas to be cleared when she is not working all over doing random plucks. My face has areas on it that make me remember ha...
on May 1