#theonion
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From theonion.com
Completely Charmless Flower Girl Walks Directly Down Aisle
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CANYON LAKE, TX—Remarking that the 3-year-old didn’t even come close to stealing the show at a recent family wedding, witnesses reported Monday that they were unimpressed when a completely charmless flower girl walked directly down the aisle. “Sure, she did her job, but she utterly failed to...
22h ago
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From theonion.com
Michael Jordan’s Former Chicagoland Mansion Listed On Airbnb
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A suburban mansion once home to NBA legend Michael Jordan is now available to rent on Airbnb, boasting seven bedrooms, 17.5 bathrooms, infinity pool, movie theater, cigar lounge, salon, full-size basketball court, and more, costing more than $100,000 for a seven-night stay. What do you think?
9h ago
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From theonion.com
Insecure Woman Doesn’t Like Eating In Front Of Surveillance State
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LOS ANGELES—Attributing her behavior to insecurity about the government, local woman Kirsten Sears told reporters Monday that she did not like eating in front of the surveillance state. “I try to remember the government is more interested in my ideology than my macronutrients, but still, every...
21h ago