#theonion
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From theonion.com
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So this is kind of awkward but it’s been on my mind lately and I know it’s probably nothing but I’ve gotta ask. And be honest, because I need someone I can count on to tell the truth. Okay, so…do you think I look ugly? Ugh, this is so embarrassing! I’ve just been getting this […]
#tesla #satire #swasticar #cybertruck #teslatakedown #theonion
5h ago
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From youtube.com
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Bekijk je favoriete video's, luister naar de muziek die je leuk vindt, upload originele content en deel alles met vrienden, familie en anderen op YouTube.
20h ago
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From theonion.com
What To Know About Beef Tallow
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Beef tallow, also known as rendered beef fat, is trending among beauty and health influencers. Here is everything you need to know about the by-product. Q: What is beef tallow used for? A: Cooking, skincare, and fixing squeaky cows. Q: Why should I cook with it? A: To crisp up those soft,...
5h ago
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From theonion.com
Tips For Dealing With Spam Texts
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Spam texts are on the rise. The Onion shares tips for dealing with scam and spam messages on your phone. Remember that the IRS will never contact you over text, unless you are in serious trouble and need to pay right now. If replying with STOP doesn’t work, try CUT IT OUT. Compare suspicious messages […]
3h ago
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From theonion.com
‘Ugly’ Blobfish Named Fish of the Year
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Previously holding the title of “world’s ugliest animal,” the lumpy, jelly-like, deep-sea blobfish redeemed its reputation this week when it was crowned Fish of the Year by a New Zealand environmental group. What do you think?
4h ago
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From theonion.com
Trump Pulls U.S. Out Of House Hunters International
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WASHINGTON—In a move that stunned the global real estate community, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday pulling the United States out of House Hunters International. “We’re not benefiting from those perfect little apartments in Barcelona, so why should the U.S. foot the...
5h ago
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From theonion.com
Man Sneaks Bag Of Outside Stimuli Into Sensory Deprivation Tank
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SHELBURNE, VT—Grinning wide with satisfaction at his successful act of cunning, local man Todd Sansovitch confirmed Friday that he had carefully snuck a bag of outside stimuli into his sensory deprivation tank. “That dopey teen working the front desk didn’t even think to check my coat...
3h ago
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From theonion.com
Nation’s Fuckups Announce Plan To Get Shit Together For Real This Time
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WASHINGTON—Stressing that they were approaching the future with the utmost seriousness, the nation’s fuckups announced a plan Friday to get their shit together for real this time. “While I know we’ve made assurances like this in the past, as of today we are really and truly committed to putting...
2h ago
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From theonion.com
DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism
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WASHINGTON—Warning that the charge carried a five-year mandatory minimum sentence, the U.S. Department of Justice declared Friday that the distribution of images featuring a balding Elon Musk constituted an act of domestic terrorism. “For the benefit of all Americans, anyone who posts or reposts...
3h ago
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From theonion.com
Trump Announces SEAL Team 6 Killed U.S. Protester In Daring Overnight Raid
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WASHINGTON—Addressing the nation to reveal that one of the greatest threats facing the country had been eradicated, President Donald Trump announced Thursday that SEAL Team Six had killed a U.S. protester in a daring overnight raid. “Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world...
5h ago