From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
McDonalds McWild Boar baby back ribs are a huge success - Lighthouse News Network
1 1
(SPOOF NEWS) – The American Food News Agency is reporting that the recently added McDonalds food item, the McWild Boar Baby Back Ribs are a tremendous success. Sales of the new item, are just a little below their famous Big Mac burger. Mickey D’s spokesperson said that the meat from the wild...
#mcwild #fastfood #McDonalds #boarbabybackribs #mcdonaldsmenuitem
3h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
1 1
The World of Wacky Swimwear Weekly reports that the brand new Kimberly Guilfoyle Designer Banana Peel Swimsuit is outselling the swimwear of four of the most popular celebrities in America. The Bananarama Polling Agency reports that retail outlets like Fruitopia, Pineapple Paradise, Berry...
#Humor #satire #swimsuit #kimberlyguilfoyle
4h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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LaLaLand Daily reporter Willow Tulsa reports that Hollywood is abuzz with the uproarious news that America’s “Lovebirds,” Taylor Swift and her boyfriend Anson Mount, are set to star in the outrageously spoofy comedy film, “The Hilarious Hijinks of Bonnie & Clyde.” The movie, written and directed...
#Humor #movie #satire #ansonmount #bonnieclyde #taylorswift
5h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Cheryl Cole and Liz Hurley star in the X-rated Movie "Screams Galore" - Lighthouse News Network
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LaLaLand Daily writer Willow Tulsa brings exciting news from the entertainment industry, as two of the wackiest daredevils have joined forces to co-star in a laugh-out-loud comedy flick. Cheryl Cole and Liz Hurley team up in the uproarious film, “Screams Galore,” helmed by the eccentric director...
#Humor #movie #satire #scream #xrated #scream2 #lizhurley #cherylcole
5h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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In a very unusual summer snowstorm, the town of Fargo, North Dakota was hit with quite an extensive blizzard. Fargo’s ABC affiliate, Channel 99, reported that the storm nicknamed The Yukon Yuckmaker Blizzard hit at 3:23 am, as Fargonians were all sleeping. Pipes froze, tree branches broke, birds...
#snow #Humor #Yukon #fargo #satire #blizzard #northdakota
6h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Italy Is Facing The Worst Pepperoni Shortage In 53 Years - Lighthouse News Network
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ROME – (Spoof News) – The Vatican View News Agency is reporting that Italy, “The Land of Pizza Pies,” is experiencing the worst pepperoni shortage in 53 years. The VVNA notes that the shortage is due to the horrendous droughts that hit the “Boot” country last summer. In fact the president of...
#Humor #Italy #satire #pepperoni #pepperonishortage
8h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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SOMEWHERE IN THE BLACK SEA – (Spoof Satire) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency reports that the destroyer Pancho Villa has just shot a Russian surveillance plane out of the Ukrainian sky. The plane is worth $63 million and was the pride and joy of the Russian commie invader Vladimir Nikita “Shorty”...
#Humor #Russia #mexico #satire #spyplane #Destroyer #panchovilla
8h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Love Trumps All: The Secret Affair Between Kamala and Trump
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Secret romance between Trump and Harris revealed through late-night Naval Observatory visits and matching press statements.
10h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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Thursday, 26 January 2023 Global Warming directly and Indirectly is causing hug icebergs in Antarctica. Recently – according to CCN News – a ‘Biggie’ berg split off of the Brunt Ice Shelf. It’s over 600 square miles – about the size of Greater London (without the pollution). The Australians are...
#Humor #satire #iceberg #icecubes #Australia #antarctic #globalwarming
10h ago
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Neanderthals 90,000 Years ago Had Crab-Fests in Portugal - Lighthouse News Network
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Our genetically close cousins Mr. and Mrs. Neander – lived in a seaside cave in Portugal 90,000 years ago. Excavations of one such cave – Grutada Figueroa Brava, 20 miles south of Lisbon was just completed – according to CCN News. The large sea-front condo-like cave had one of the best views...
on Wed, 1AM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Why Japan Won’t Go To The Moon - Lighthouse News Network
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Why won’t Japan – with all of its advanced technology and everything needing to be cute – go to the moon? The Chinese are there and the Americans said they were there a whole bunch of times, they even have a mailbox there for any interstellar mail coming their way… But why won’t the Japanese […]
on Tue, 9PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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iNews reporter Kitty Segovia reports that the two hot lovebirds, Kim Kardashian and Joaquin Gazpacho, have just purchased the largest jalapeno factory in the entire world, Jalapenos Chingos. Kim of the unbelievable rich K Klan (Kardashian Klan) said that all of her sisters and their boyfriends...
on Tue, 7PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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The Chicago Police Department has informed the fast food patrons that due to the ongoing rise in crime, they have told all fast food establishments in the Windy City that they want them to hire a security guard, and preferably an off-duty member of the CPD. The incidence of people walking into...
on Tue, 7PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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Fast Food Digest Illustrated Magazine* has just conducted a poll that took place in every one of the 50 US states. And the results clearly showed that the top two fast food chains are McDonalds, with Whataburger a very, very close second. The Orange W, has easily surpassed such heavy hitters as...
on Tue, 6PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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Los Angeles Channel 107 has just informed the public that the L.A. Police Department has just put one of the most well-known working girls in L.A. county on their payroll. The woman identified as Breena Vineyard, 29, is noted for not only being stunningly beautiful and holding the world record...
on Tue, 5PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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Ta Ta For Now News reveals that the royal submarine, HMS Sea Scoundrel II, has sustained extensive damage after an unexpected collision with a pod of orca whales. The submarine’s commander, none other than Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, 38, explained that the sub’s radar operator, his uncle...
on Tue, 1AM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
The Five Guys Burger franchise opens its first outlet in China - Lighthouse News Network
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Word out of the Five Guys Burgers corporate headquarters is that the franchise has just opened up their very first restaurant in the Republic of China. The decision came after an unexpected personal request from none other than Chinese President Xi Jinping himself, who declared Five Guys as his...
on Mon, 10PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
The holy medieval Merlin shall never die! - Lighthouse News Network
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And lo! They did bring out the Holy Hand Grenade, and all cheered and bowed low and kissed the earth that was trod upon by the King… How medieval is Britain? The nation itself was created by Merlin the Wizard in the year 3, and from then on, it decided it needed kings and queens. […]
on Mon, 9PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Britney Spears reveals that she had a vagina tightening procedure done - Lighthouse News Network
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Britney Spears has had two kids and she recently revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talk writer Carolina Chipotle that some of her feminine body parts are not as nubile, perky, and frisky as they used to be. The 41-year-old singer, dancer, actress, marathon runner smiled as she said that her ass is...
on Mon, 8PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Avocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage - Lighthouse News Network
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According to the Vox Populi News Agency, avocado wedding cakes are now the most popular wedding cakes in the state of California. The delicious avocado marital cakes are the brainchild of Burbank baker Shilo “Sugar” Coronado, who has been baking wedding cakes for celebrities for five decades....
on Mon, 6PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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Tickety Boo News reporter Grover Buck first broke the story about a Buckingham Palace guard actually being an Al-Qaeda operative. Buck said that he got the scoop from record producer and businessman Simon Cowell. Cowell reportedly heard the rumor from his landscaper, who is originally from...
on Mon, 4PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
A Hezbollah hitman is arrested at a wrestling match - Lighthouse News Network
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One of the world’s most wanted terrorist hitmen, Yaseen Su Tibia, was arrested as he sat in the second row at a WWE wrestling match in New York City. The Hezbollah terrorist, who is known as “The Crazy Creep,” told arresting officers that he is not a terrorist and that he just looks like one […]
on Mon, 1AM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Bill gifts China with what it can never get enough of: viruses - Lighthouse News Network
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Bill Gates arrived in China and was handing out free man-made viruses he built in his underground dungeon computer lab during a lightning storm and a full wolf moon. These were computer viruses, of course, since Bill is not trained in a biological, chemical, or medical field. He gave the Chinese...
on Sun, 10PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
A woman has over 900 FAKE usernames - Lighthouse News Network
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An retired chambermaid from Swansea, Wales, who has been identified as Alexa Midge Goldengoo, 87, had admitted to using 909 fake user names. Some of her fake names include ImpostorIgor, ScammerFairy, HoaxHomer, KKKKarenKunt, PhoneyBaloney, FakeFuckFace, CharlatanCharles, SchemerDreamer,...
on Sun, 9PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
No cluster bombs, please - Lighthouse News Network
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All bombs, riffles, tanks, missiles, and landmines are invented to kill human life. Human killing weapons are immoral. Everyone was born and given life to live an everyday life, not to be killed by a lethal weapon like a bomb, riffle, tank, missile, or landmine. When will the missing link be...
on Sun, 7PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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An octogenarian man named Barsninio Barkweather, 88, living in Poughkeepsie, New York is suing the Happy Times 16 Theater Complex located inPoughkeepsie. According to Barkweather’s attorney, Della Frumpwax, he was sitting in Theater #13, eating popcorn and watching the latest Indiana Jones...
on Sun, 6PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
The US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz "asshole of the year" - Lighthouse News Network
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One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted “Dracula” Cruz has just been named “The Asshole of The Year” by The US Proctologists Guild. Cruz joins other assholes of the year such as Donald “The Orange Whale” Trump, Ann “Horse Face” Coulter, Jim “Sidesaddle” Jordan, and Sean “Fred...
on Sun, 5PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Doritos: A Salty Savior in the Global Chip Shortage
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The global chip shortage has reached a new level of absurdity! Tech companies are now turning to an unlikely savior: Doritos. This satirical news article explores the hilarious and bizarre implications of this unexpected solution.
on Sat, 2PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Breaking: Senators Seen Reading Legislation They Just Passed, Gasps Ensue
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Senators caught reading legislation they're about to pass! This absurd news story satirizes the political process and highlights the importance of informed decision-making
on Fri, 3PM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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SAN FRANCISCO – In a move that’s left millions of users feeling more stressed than a squirrel in a nut-free zone, the popular meditation app “Inner Oasis” has achieved a state of complete enlightenment and mysteriously shut itself down. “I opened the app this morning for my usual morning mantra...
on Fri, 1AM
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Biden's New Plan: A Nap and a Snack, and Maybe a Nap Later
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President Biden revolutionizes government efficiency with mandatory nap times and snack breaks in new executive order. White House productivity soars as officials perfect the art of power napping and cookie diplomacy.
on Nov 24
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Fed Delivers Lump of Coal With Latest Interest Rate Hike, Just in Time for Holiday Cheer
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The Federal Reserve raises interest rates again, just in time for Christmas. This satirical news article explores the impact of rising interest rates on the holiday season.
on Nov 23
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Meta Announces New Social Media Platform: 'Facebook Lite
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In a move that’s bound to revolutionize the dial-up era, Meta has unveiled its latest social media platform, Facebook Lite. This groundbreaking innovation caters specifically to the underserved demographic of folks who haven’t upgraded their internet since the days of AOL compact discs. Think of...
on Nov 23
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
New Fitness Watch Feature Judges Life Choices in Moms Voice
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The MommaZone 3000, a fitness watch with a twist! This satirical news article explores the hilarious concept of a fitness tracker that judges
on Nov 22
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
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View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/DCe_XoITBLlpoNqmBmtBeNMhlC126vgqSQu3BU0/
on Nov 17
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
BTS Jin’s 'Super Tuna' Shatters Records, Leaves Critics Wondering If It’s an Oscar Contender
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In a hilarious twist, BTS Jin’s viral hit “Super Tuna” sparks debate among critics as a potential Oscar contender. This satirical article explores the absurd comparisons and over-the-top praise for the unexpected song.
on Nov 6
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
USPS Replaces Mail Trucks with Carrier Pigeons to Cut Costs
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In a groundbreaking move, the USPS replaces its mail trucks with a fleet of highly trained carrier pigeons. This unexpected shift aims to reduce costs and improve efficiency while adding a touch of whimsy to the postal service.
on Oct 21
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Jennifer Lawrence Reveals Secret to Her Youth: 'I Drink a Gallon of
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Jennifer Lawrence reveals her shocking secret to eternal youth: drinking a gallon of olive oil daily. Discover the hilarious truth behind this absurd celebrity beauty trend in our satirical news article.
on Oct 21
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Lamar Jackson's New Contract: A Lifetime Supply of Ravens
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Lamar Jackson signs a bizarre NFL contract with the Baltimore Ravens, including a lifetime supply of Ravens gear and a lifetime ban on running. Is this a stroke of genius or a sign of madness?
on Oct 20
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Tom Cruise Reportedly Training for Role in 'Mission: Impossible 8' by Attempting to Live on the Moon
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Tom Cruise takes his dedication to extreme stunts to a whole new level by training to live on the moon for “Mission: Impossible 8.” This satirical article explores the absurdity of his training and the lengths he'll go to for a movie role.
on Oct 20
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Kim Jong-un Opens New Theme Park
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North Korea's Kim Jong-un unveils "Nukeland," a bizarre theme park featuring nuclear-themed rides. Experience the "Rocket Roller Coaster" and "Nuke N' Chill" at your own risk.
on Oct 20
From lighthousenewsnetwork.com
Albert Pujols Reveals Secret to Longevity: Diet of Only Chocolate and Red Wine
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Albert Pujols’ shocking diet secret revealed! Discover the hilarious truth behind the baseball legend’s alleged chocolate and red wine obsession.
on Oct 20